Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it "dull" that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?
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I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil read more
I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet.
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, read more
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I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
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What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
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I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.
If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked read more
If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me.".
As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the read more
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When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.
