If you're a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, "Boy, these are good cigars!".
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You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real read more
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When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
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If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.
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If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
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