Dave Barry

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to read more

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look read more

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count read more

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that read more

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn