W. C. Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about read more

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.