W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about read more

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.