W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about read more

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.