W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about read more

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a read more

How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.