W. C. Fields

How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a read more

How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.