Rodney Dangerfield

I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up

I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet

I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May read more

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.