Rodney Dangerfield

I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet

I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet

I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last
week I put a read more

I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last
week I put a mirror over my dining room table.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.