Rodney Dangerfield

I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet

I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last
week I put a read more

I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last
week I put a mirror over my dining room table.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee.
Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee.
Unfortunately, she was just coming home.