Maxioms by Mitch Hedberg
I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other read more
I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work.'
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna read more
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what read more
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.'