Mark Twain

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead

What a good thing Adam had--when he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.

What a good thing Adam had--when he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old read more

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.