George Carlin

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what read more

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt read more

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to read more

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.