Dave Barry

A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer

A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to read more

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although read more

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise read more

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear