Dave Barry

While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely read more

While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings.

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to read more

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that read more

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.