Dave Barry ( 10 of 61 )
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless read more
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the read more
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to read more
The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."
Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ever reads. In fact, read more
Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ever reads. In fact, for the past five years most of the manuals shipped with software products have actually been copies of Stephen King's The Stand with new covers pasted on.
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out read more
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save read more
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count read more
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.
I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who read more
I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.
