Dave Barry ( 10 of 61 )
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise read more
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will read more
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that read more
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn
Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.3. Driver read more
New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.3. Driver hates you.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom
I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, read more
I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, and some day, when my generation retires, they will have to pay us trillions of dollars in social security
If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer read more
If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.
