Dave Barry ( 10 of 61 )
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will read more
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings
One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can read more
One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise read more
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom
If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer read more
If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the read more
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, read more
I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, and some day, when my generation retires, they will have to pay us trillions of dollars in social security
New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.3. Driver read more
New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.3. Driver hates you.
