Dave Barry ( 10 of 61 )
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was read more
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own read more
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and read more
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were read more
We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing, and what a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while actually producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot read more
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot masturbate
Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'.
People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'.
One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can read more
One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet
