Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that read more

Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you.

We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.

We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.

Call no man happy till he is dead.

Call no man happy till he is dead.

Don't strew me with roses after I'm dead. When Death claims the light of my brow No flowers of life read more

Don't strew me with roses after I'm dead. When Death claims the light of my brow No flowers of life will cheer me: instead You may give me my roses now!

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with read more

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

A punishment to some, to some a gift, and to many a favor.

A punishment to some, to some a gift, and to many a favor.

I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me read more

I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

All say, 'How hard it is that we have to die' - a strange complaint to come from the mouths read more

All say, 'How hard it is that we have to die' - a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.

My situation is a solemn one. Life is offered to me on condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better read more

My situation is a solemn one. Life is offered to me on condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better than cannibalism. My will contains directions for my funeral, which will be followed not by mourning coaches, but by oxen, sheep, flocks of poultry, and a small traveling aquarium of live fish, all wearing white scarf's in honor of the man who perished rather than eat his fellow creatures.