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    The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.

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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when read more

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

by J O'rourke Found in: New year Quotes,
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Whether we want them or not, the New Year will bring new challenges; whether we seize them or not, the read more

Whether we want them or not, the New Year will bring new challenges; whether we seize them or not, the New Year will bring new opportunities.

by Michael Josephson Found in: New year Quotes,
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The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.

The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.

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New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin read more

New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual

by Mark Twain Found in: New year Quotes,
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New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless read more

New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights

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An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure read more

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

by Bill Vaughan Found in: New year Quotes,
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My New Year's resolution is to stick to a good workout plan that will keep me healthy and happy.

My New Year's resolution is to stick to a good workout plan that will keep me healthy and happy.

by James Lafferty Found in: New year Quotes,
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New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

by Jay Leno Found in: New year Quotes,
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Each age has deemed the new-born year
The fittest time for festal cheer.

Each age has deemed the new-born year
The fittest time for festal cheer.

by Sir Walter Scott Found in: New year Quotes,
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