My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Ah! what would the world be to us If the children were no more? We should dread the desert read more

Ah! what would the world be to us If the children were no more? We should dread the desert behind us Worse than the dark before.

It is a wise child that knows his own father.

It is a wise child that knows his own father.

Every child is born a genius.

Every child is born a genius.

Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.

Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.

Let me go to hell, that's all I ask, and go on cursing them there, and them look down and read more

Let me go to hell, that's all I ask, and go on cursing them there, and them look down and hear me, that might take some of the shine off their bliss.

I'm old enough to know better, but still too young to care.

I'm old enough to know better, but still too young to care.

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it.

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it.