Sports is the toy department of human life.

Sports is the toy department of human life.

There are only two kinds of coaches -- those who have been fired, and those who will be fired.

There are only two kinds of coaches -- those who have been fired, and those who will be fired.

Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable.

Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear read more

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can read more

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.
(recounting what he told a player read more

Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.
(recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D)

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in read more

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.

'Twas Game Six of the Series when out of the sky, Flew Sergio's parachute, a Met banner held high. His read more

'Twas Game Six of the Series when out of the sky, Flew Sergio's parachute, a Met banner held high. His goal was to spur our home team to success, Burst Beantown's balloon claiming Sox were the best.