Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white read more

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.

With those who don't give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am read more

With those who don't give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am even willing to concede that many of them are physically clean, good to their mothers and in favor of world peace. But while the game is on, I can't think of anything to say to them.

In the great department store of life, baseball is the toy department.

In the great department store of life, baseball is the toy department.

The game was closer than the score indicated.
(after a 1-0 game)

The game was closer than the score indicated.
(after a 1-0 game)

Thou shalt not covet; but tradition approves all forms of competition.

Thou shalt not covet; but tradition approves all forms of competition.

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to read more

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.

A great catch is like watching girls go by, the last one you see is always the prettiest.

A great catch is like watching girls go by, the last one you see is always the prettiest.

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in read more

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.