Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their read more

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's read more

I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures.

Soccer players can do it for 90 minutes in all positions!

Soccer players can do it for 90 minutes in all positions!

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better read more

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.

Trying to sneak a fastball past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise past a rooster.

Trying to sneak a fastball past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise past a rooster.

Bulls do not win bull fights. People do.

Bulls do not win bull fights. People do.

We train by a parkway, which runs beside a river. If we had a lonely end, he either would be read more

We train by a parkway, which runs beside a river. If we had a lonely end, he either would be hit by a car or drown.
(on why he doesn't use a lonely end)

I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.

I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.