Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.
(on sportswriters)

Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.
(on sportswriters)

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can read more

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

'Twas Game Six of the Series when out of the sky, Flew Sergio's parachute, a Met banner held high. His read more

'Twas Game Six of the Series when out of the sky, Flew Sergio's parachute, a Met banner held high. His goal was to spur our home team to success, Burst Beantown's balloon claiming Sox were the best.

Is it normal to wake up in the morning in a sweat because you can't wait to beat another human's read more

Is it normal to wake up in the morning in a sweat because you can't wait to beat another human's guts out?

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game.

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game.

I told [GM] Roland Hemond to go out and get me a big name pitcher. He said, 'Dave Wehrmeister's got read more

I told [GM] Roland Hemond to go out and get me a big name pitcher. He said, 'Dave Wehrmeister's got 11 letters. Is that a big enough name for you ?' (White Sox owner)

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(explaining read more

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982)

He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.
(on his coach, John Jenkins, 1991)

He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.
(on his coach, John Jenkins, 1991)