If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to read more

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to vote)

Spencer's running across field calling out, 'come inside me, come inside me.'

Spencer's running across field calling out, 'come inside me, come inside me.'

The game was closer than the score indicated.
(after a 1-0 game)

The game was closer than the score indicated.
(after a 1-0 game)

If you aren't playing well, the game isn't as much fun. When that happens I tell myself just to go read more

If you aren't playing well, the game isn't as much fun. When that happens I tell myself just to go out and play as I did when I was a kid.

Somebody will always break your records. It is how you live that counts.

Somebody will always break your records. It is how you live that counts.

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

Use it or lose it.

Use it or lose it.