You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich read more

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

Baseball is like church. Many attend but few understand.

Baseball is like church. Many attend but few understand.

A good hitter has timing.
A good pitcher upsets timing.

A good hitter has timing.
A good pitcher upsets timing.

One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for read more

One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?
(when asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries this season resulted from poor physical conditioning)

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white read more

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.
(When asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf)

I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.
(When asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf)

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best read more

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the read more

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.