When I look at the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes.

When I look at the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Give the American people a good cause, and there's nothing they can't lick.

Give the American people a good cause, and there's nothing they can't lick.

Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. 'Get out' and 'I never want to see read more

Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. 'Get out' and 'I never want to see you again' might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, 'I love you.... I want to marry you.... I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.

Men forget everything; women remember everything.

Men forget everything; women remember everything.

It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books - what other men read more

It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books - what other men do not say in whole books.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

Unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways

That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways