The vice-presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm piss.

The vice-presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm piss.

I'm Jimmy Carter, and I'm going to be your next president.

I'm Jimmy Carter, and I'm going to be your next president.

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a read more

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away from Washington. Or at least that's what Dick Cheney told him.

No easy problems ever come to the President of the United States.
If they are easy to solve, somebody read more

No easy problems ever come to the President of the United States.
If they are easy to solve, somebody else has solved them.

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, read more

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'

You really have to experience the feeling of being with the
president in the oval office. . . . read more

You really have to experience the feeling of being with the
president in the oval office. . . . It's a disease I came to call
Ovalitis.

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it.

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it.

Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps, and preside over read more

Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the president's spouse. I wish him well.

A president's hardest task is not to do what is right but to know what is right

A president's hardest task is not to do what is right but to know what is right