Where village statesmen talk'd with looks profound.
And news much older than their ale went round.

Where village statesmen talk'd with looks profound.
And news much older than their ale went round.

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed read more

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
I have wonderful news to tell,
A lady by me her read more

News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
I have wonderful news to tell,
A lady by me her compliments sends;
And this is the news from Hell!

Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever read more

Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever after as a sullen bell,
Rememb'red tolling a departing friend.

Master, master, old news! And such news as you never heard of!

Master, master, old news! And such news as you never heard of!

It’s hard to believe that in the greatest democracy in the world, we need legislation to prevent the government from read more

It’s hard to believe that in the greatest democracy in the world, we need legislation to prevent the government from writing and paying for the news.

Ten day ago I drowned these news in tears;
And now, to add more measure to your woes,
read more

Ten day ago I drowned these news in tears;
And now, to add more measure to your woes,
I come to tell you things sith then befallen.

Ill news is wing'd with fate, and flies apace.

Ill news is wing'd with fate, and flies apace.

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.