My heart hath one poor string to stay it by,
Which holds but till thy news be uttered,
read more

My heart hath one poor string to stay it by,
Which holds but till thy news be uttered,
And then all this thou seest is but a clod
And module of confounded royalty.

What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
read more

What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
Comes by the cable; led
Through the Indian Ocean's bed,
Through the Persian Gulf, the Red
Sea, and the Med-

There's villainous news abroad.

There's villainous news abroad.

Where village statesmen talk'd with looks profound.
And news much older than their ale went round.

Where village statesmen talk'd with looks profound.
And news much older than their ale went round.

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They read more

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They don’t know they’re being funny.

If't be summer news,
Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
But keep that count'nance still.

If't be summer news,
Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
But keep that count'nance still.

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.

How goes it now, sir? This news which is called true is so like
an old tale that the read more

How goes it now, sir? This news which is called true is so like
an old tale that the verity of it is in strong suspicion.

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed read more

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.