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  •   18  /  39  

    Ten day ago I drowned these news in tears;
    And now, to add more measure to your woes,
    I come to tell you things sith then befallen.

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  26  /  28  

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed read more

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

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  11  /  25  

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We read more

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.

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  26  /  44  

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't… you know, it's interesting. read more

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't… you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.

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  10  /  28  

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.

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  27  /  46  

Prithee, friend,
Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,
The good and the bad together: read more

Prithee, friend,
Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,
The good and the bad together: he's friends with Caesar,
In state of health, thou say'st, and thou say'st, free.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  25  /  31  

(Celia:) Here come Monsieur Le Beau.
(Rosalind:) With his mouth full of news.
(Celia:) Which he will read more

(Celia:) Here come Monsieur Le Beau.
(Rosalind:) With his mouth full of news.
(Celia:) Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their young.
(Rosalind:) Then shall we be news-crammed.

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  22  /  35  

O, my sweet sir, news fitting to the night,
Black, fearful, comfortless, and horrible.

O, my sweet sir, news fitting to the night,
Black, fearful, comfortless, and horrible.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  16  /  39  

How goes it now, sir? This news which is called true is so like
an old tale that the read more

How goes it now, sir? This news which is called true is so like
an old tale that the verity of it is in strong suspicion.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  27  /  28  

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They read more

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They don’t know they’re being funny.

by Stephen Colbert Found in: News Quotes,
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