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    But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

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  36  /  41  

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care read more

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

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  27  /  28  

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They read more

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They don’t know they’re being funny.

by Stephen Colbert Found in: News Quotes,
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  25  /  29  

There's villainous news abroad.

There's villainous news abroad.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  29  /  29  

(Pistol:) And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
And golden times and happy news of price.
read more

(Pistol:) And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
And golden times and happy news of price.
(Falstaff:) I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this
world.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  19  /  14  

It is good news, worthy of all acceptation, and yet not too good
to be true.

It is good news, worthy of all acceptation, and yet not too good
to be true.

by Matthew (mathew) Henry Found in: News Quotes,
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  23  /  41  

Master, master, old news! And such news as you never heard of!

Master, master, old news! And such news as you never heard of!

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  9  /  39  

As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far
country.

As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far
country.

by Bible Found in: News Sayings, General Sayings,
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  7  /  12  

. . . by evil report and good report . . .

. . . by evil report and good report . . .

by Bible Found in: News Quotes,
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  9  /  17  

It’s hard to believe that in the greatest democracy in the world, we need legislation to prevent the government from read more

It’s hard to believe that in the greatest democracy in the world, we need legislation to prevent the government from writing and paying for the news.

by Senator John Kerry Found in: News Quotes,
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