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If't be summer news,
Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
But keep that count'nance still.
If't be summer news,
Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
But keep that count'nance still.
But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed read more
But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.
Though it be honest, it is never good
To bring bad news; give to a gracious message
read more
Though it be honest, it is never good
To bring bad news; give to a gracious message
An host of tongues, but let ill tidings tell
Themselves when they be felt.
Who, or why, or which, or what,
Is the Akhond of Swat?
Who, or why, or which, or what,
Is the Akhond of Swat?
O, my sweet sir, news fitting to the night,
Black, fearful, comfortless, and horrible.
O, my sweet sir, news fitting to the night,
Black, fearful, comfortless, and horrible.
We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We read more
We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.
News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
I have wonderful news to tell,
A lady by me her read more
News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
I have wonderful news to tell,
A lady by me her compliments sends;
And this is the news from Hell!
Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever read more
Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever after as a sullen bell,
Rememb'red tolling a departing friend.
For evil news rides post, while good news baits.
For evil news rides post, while good news baits.
