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			 Where village statesmen talk'd with looks profound.
 And news much older than their ale went round.  
	 Where village statesmen talk'd with looks profound.
 And news much older than their ale went round. 
		
 
	
			 He's gone, and who knows how may he report
 Thy words by adding fuel to the flame?  
	 He's gone, and who knows how may he report
 Thy words by adding fuel to the flame? 
		
 
	
			 But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed read more 
	 But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even. 
		
 
	
			 Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
 Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
  Sounds ever read more 
	 Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
 Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
  Sounds ever after as a sullen bell,
   Rememb'red tolling a departing friend. 
		
 
	
			 (Pistol:) And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
 And golden times and happy news of price.
  read more 
	 (Pistol:) And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
 And golden times and happy news of price.
  (Falstaff:) I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this 
world. 
		
 
	
			 We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We read more 
	 We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics. 
		
 
	
			 News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
 I have wonderful news to tell,
  A lady by me her read more 
	 News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
 I have wonderful news to tell,
  A lady by me her compliments sends;
   And this is the news from Hell! 
		
 
	
			 As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far 
country.  
	 As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far 
country. 
		
 
	
			 It’s hard to believe that in the greatest democracy in the world, we need legislation to prevent the government from read more 
	 It’s hard to believe that in the greatest democracy in the world, we need legislation to prevent the government from writing and paying for the news.