If't be summer news,
Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
But keep that count'nance still.

If't be summer news,
Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
But keep that count'nance still.

The only white man you can trust is a dead white man.

The only white man you can trust is a dead white man.

Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever read more

Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever after as a sullen bell,
Rememb'red tolling a departing friend.

Media: 99,99% of what happens is not on the news

Media: 99,99% of what happens is not on the news

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed read more

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

It is good news, worthy of all acceptation, and yet not too good
to be true.

It is good news, worthy of all acceptation, and yet not too good
to be true.

Ram thou fruitful tidings in mine ears,
That long time have been barren.

Ram thou fruitful tidings in mine ears,
That long time have been barren.

News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
I have wonderful news to tell,
A lady by me her read more

News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
I have wonderful news to tell,
A lady by me her compliments sends;
And this is the news from Hell!

What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
read more

What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
Comes by the cable; led
Through the Indian Ocean's bed,
Through the Persian Gulf, the Red
Sea, and the Med-