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  •   11  /  25  

    We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.

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  5  /  15  

The American people deserve to know that they're not just watching the administration's spin on their local newscasts -- they're read more

The American people deserve to know that they're not just watching the administration's spin on their local newscasts -- they're paying for it, too.

by Senator John Kerry Found in: News Quotes,
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  10  /  28  

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.

For evil news rides post, while good news baits.

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  22  /  35  

O, my sweet sir, news fitting to the night,
Black, fearful, comfortless, and horrible.

O, my sweet sir, news fitting to the night,
Black, fearful, comfortless, and horrible.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  29  /  25  

I am a tiny, neurotic man, standing in the back of the room throwing tomatoes at the chalk board. And read more

I am a tiny, neurotic man, standing in the back of the room throwing tomatoes at the chalk board. And that's really it. And what we do is we come in in the morning and we go, "Did you see that thing last night? Aahh!" And then we spend the next 8 or 9 hours trying to take this and make it into something funny.

by Jon Stewart Found in: The daily show Quotes,
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  36  /  41  

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care read more

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

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  25  /  29  

There's villainous news abroad.

There's villainous news abroad.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  26  /  44  

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't… you know, it's interesting. read more

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't… you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.

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  29  /  29  

(Pistol:) And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
And golden times and happy news of price.
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(Pistol:) And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
And golden times and happy news of price.
(Falstaff:) I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this
world.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  14  /  30  

What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
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What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
Comes by the cable; led
Through the Indian Ocean's bed,
Through the Persian Gulf, the Red
Sea, and the Med-

by George Thomas Lanigan Found in: News Quotes,
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