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 He's gone, and who knows how may he report
 Thy words by adding fuel to the flame?  
 He's gone, and who knows how may he report
 Thy words by adding fuel to the flame? 
Master, master, old news! And such news as you never heard of!
Master, master, old news! And such news as you never heard of!
 If't be summer news,
 Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
  But keep that count'nance still.  
 If't be summer news,
 Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
  But keep that count'nance still. 
 (Celia:) Here come Monsieur Le Beau.
 (Rosalind:) With his mouth full of news.
  (Celia:) Which he will read more 
 (Celia:) Here come Monsieur Le Beau.
 (Rosalind:) With his mouth full of news.
  (Celia:) Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their young.
   (Rosalind:) Then shall we be news-crammed. 
 Ten day ago I drowned these news in tears;
 And now, to add more measure to your woes,
 read more 
 Ten day ago I drowned these news in tears;
 And now, to add more measure to your woes,
  I come to tell you things sith then befallen. 
But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed read more
But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.
 My heart hath one poor string to stay it by,
 Which holds but till thy news be uttered,
 read more 
 My heart hath one poor string to stay it by,
 Which holds but till thy news be uttered,
  And then all this thou seest is but a clod
   And module of confounded royalty. 
 Though it be honest, it is never good
 To bring bad news; give to a gracious message
  read more 
 Though it be honest, it is never good
 To bring bad news; give to a gracious message
  An host of tongues, but let ill tidings tell
   Themselves when they be felt. 
 Prithee, friend,
 Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,
  The good and the bad together: read more 
 Prithee, friend,
 Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,
  The good and the bad together: he's friends with Caesar,
   In state of health, thou say'st, and thou say'st, free.