Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always read more

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man read more

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their read more

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a lot of overlapping.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy read more

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.