I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

The homegrown tomato is best
(in reference to choosing a marriage partner).

The homegrown tomato is best
(in reference to choosing a marriage partner).

Marriage - a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.

Marriage - a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having read more

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

Marriage should be a duet - when one sings, the other claps.

Marriage should be a duet - when one sings, the other claps.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Same-sex marriage is not the future.

Same-sex marriage is not the future.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest read more

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.