Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always read more

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all read more

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having read more

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

Two souls and one thought, two hearts and one pulse.

Two souls and one thought, two hearts and one pulse.

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.