A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having read more

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love read more

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.