Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man read more

Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man laugh,
And laughing long life doth bring,
Says old Simon the King.
- Unattributed Author, Old Sir Simon the King,

It's a long time between drinks.

It's a long time between drinks.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no
occasion.

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no
occasion.

And broughte of mighty ale a large quart.

And broughte of mighty ale a large quart.

What harm in drinking can there be,
Since punch and life so well agree?

What harm in drinking can there be,
Since punch and life so well agree?

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

And I wish his soul in heaven may dwell,
Who first invented this leathern bottel!

And I wish his soul in heaven may dwell,
Who first invented this leathern bottel!