Phyllis Diller

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve read more

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.