Phyllis Diller

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and read more

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.