Phyllis Diller

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and read more

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.