Phyllis Diller

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve read more

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have read more

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have done this? we have no enemies.".