Mark Twain

It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.

It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is read more

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine--everybody drinks water.

My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine--everybody drinks water.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."

I have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

I have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.