John Barrymore

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go read more

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.