Fred Allen

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to read more

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.

All television is children's television.

All television is children's television.