Fred Allen

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.