Fred Allen

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look read more

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.