Fred Allen

All television is children's television.

All television is children's television.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to read more

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look read more

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.