Fred Allen

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy
me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy
me.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.