Fred Allen

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition read more

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

When you get through all the phony tinsel of Hollywood, you find the
genuine tinsel underneath.

When you get through all the phony tinsel of Hollywood, you find the
genuine tinsel underneath.