Erma Bombeck

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a read more

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two read more

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.