Erma Bombeck

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their read more

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop read more

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but read more

Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams read more

Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in.