Dave Barry

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and read more

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the read more

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless read more

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.