Dave Barry

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who read more

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat read more

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer

A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise read more

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear