Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the same read more

Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the same today.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player.

I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player.

I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's read more

I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures.

I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.
(When asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf)

I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.
(When asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf)

We train by a parkway, which runs beside a river. If we had a lonely end, he either would be read more

We train by a parkway, which runs beside a river. If we had a lonely end, he either would be hit by a car or drown.
(on why he doesn't use a lonely end)

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to read more

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to vote)

I couldn't see the ball come off the club for the first 27 holes. It came off the club that read more

I couldn't see the ball come off the club for the first 27 holes. It came off the club that fast.

They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets.

They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets.